Posts

A Radiation Treatment / End to End in 30 Seconds Captured on Video #fuckcancer #radiation

/2 Comments/in , /by

Today marks my 29th radiation treatment. It went exactly like the rest.

  • Arrive to awesome valet
  • Check in
  • Head to “Gowning” to change into my beautiful surgical gown
  • Wait a few minutes and chat with the other inmates
  • Get called
  • Head back give them my birthday
  • Lay down
  • Get zapped
  • Get up
  • Leave

Except today I snuck my fancy new iPhone in for a time lapse

I also realize that I’ve never actually seen this machine at work as I’ve been strapped on this table with this lovely mask.

So here it is. It’s really pretty cool.

[wpvideo jdscFHHq ]

This one machine does this 30 times per day. Saving 30 people.

Cool.

Gratitude in the Age of Entitlement

/0 Comments/in , /by

I received notice today that our Health Sharing Ministry Christian Medi-Share had approved a $55000 bill from UT Southwestern for the first phase of my radiation treatments

What this means is my expense will now be shared with Medi-Share’s 200,000 members.

Medi-Share is NOT insurance. It’s a sharing ministry. I pay to support others and they pay to support me when we all need it.

None of us is as strong as all of us.

I can’t imagine a better example of this. As of today I estimate my total cost on this cancer journey to be well in excess of $100,000. Between wacky provider pricing, discounts etc you literally have NO IDEA what you’ve signed up for when you really need care. It’s so messed up.

When I checked in for surgery I asked “how much is this going to cost”? The answer was “would you like to speak with a financial counselor?” Oh and please sign this form accepting full responsibility for yet undefined and un-described liability.

Thank you sir now you can proceed to this life saving surgery that you need.

Wait! What have I signed up for? I have no idea. Would you buy a house for some unknown cost? A car? Anything? Nope. Yet this is exactly what we do now when we get healthcare under duress.

All I can say is thanks be to God for the protective layer of insurance and medical sharing ministries like Medi-Share.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6

I am so grateful I don’t know where to start. Maybe I’ll start with tomorrow.

Today I listened to Metallica during radiation treatment and it was awesome. #Metalica #Beatcancer

/0 Comments/in , /by

So I am now 26/30 of these treatments completed.

I’ve got the process down. You go in, you lay down, you put in your bite block, they clamp you in and the machine moves all around for a while (I assume they are taking images) , they take pictures, you wait for a doctor to approve, they zap, they move the table, they zap again and they come in and take your mask off. Every day, same process. It’s very predictable now.

The first process is the alignment of the Varian TrueBeam machine, which this huge machine rotates all around you. The machine itself is really cool and apparently can cost upwards of $5 MILLION which explains some of the ridiculous cost of this treatment.

Anyway, the staff is always super nice and friendly. Since getting strapped in a mask onto a table like this can be stressful, you have the option to listen to music of your choice, etc. Personally, I used meditation, which I no longer need to NOT feel anxious. After 25 sessions, I know what to expect, and the anxiety is lower now.

So, today I didn’t choose some slimy ballad or new age junk, I chose the Metallica station on Pandora and it was AWESOME.

I listened to Disturbed (down with the sickness), Ozzy, Metallica, and a few other head-banger bands that just put me into this “Screw-you cancer” mindset.

Managing your head is so critical in all this. You can be a victim or you can just say you know what, screw you cancer and I am going to kick your ass, with alot of help.

In my experience, listening to head-banger music s better for that than some wimpy music. But, hey YOU get to choose. All good.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12-2

The power to choose how you think and how you feel as a result to me is one of the greatest gifts that we have. In Stephen Covey’s famous book, the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, it’s chapter one. YOU have control of how you choose to respond. And with that, you have the power to choose what enters your mind and what doesn’t.

Today, I chose Metalica and it was awesome.

This is the face of radiation

/0 Comments/in , /by

I didn’t want to post this. It makes me look older than I feel. Oddly I am embarrassed by it. A friend said it looks like a bottle of tequila and a sunburn. True.

Look this is temporary. I’ll get through it. The radiation is killing the bad stuff and it’s hard. That stuff if stubborn so it only follows you gotta give it your best back.

This is temporary and I’ve got it easy.

A friend of mine called yesterday and he’s facing blindness. Yes. Diabetic induced blindness. Years of high blood pressure and high blood sugars are catching up. He doesn’t deserve it.

Well neither do you. Neither do I and neither does any of the fine men I talk to daily during treatment.

That said I’m excited to meet the stronger man on the other side of this.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds. ⠀

James 1:2

Thanks. I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or not. But I’ll take it.

Now on to the last 9 treatments before I get to see what’s next.

Screw You Cancer. I’m winning with ALOT of help.

/0 Comments/in , , /by

So today marks 15/30 treatments. We took our caregivers cupcakes. Not sure why but that made me feel better. I also started feeling some side effects. Mainly the driest nose on the planet. Everything seemed to make me sneeze and it’s so dry it just hurts.

Still I have it really easy.

Today also marks the day a good friend of ours had surgery to remove a portion of her tongue. Poor thing has it way tougher than me. We are praying hard for her tonight. She’s got a long road ahead.

All I can say is this disease sucks. It’s way too commonplace now. It seems that everyone is impacted at some point in their lives. It’s also super sneaky and so many different varieties I don’t know how these doctors keep up. I’m so thankful for the technologies we have and the power we have to fight this shit. This radiation machine is amazing.

All I really know is that I’m winning and there’s no way I could ever beat this alone.

Say a prayer tonight for everyone who is suffering with this awful disease.

And say a prayer for the amazing doctors, nurses and technicians that make the healing possible.

The Probability of the Improbable Thing

/0 Comments/in , /by

I heard a very interesting quote this week.

“Never underestimate the probability of an improbable thing happening to you”.

We all do it, oh I can text and drive, I’ll be fine. Oh, I’ll have one more beer and head home, oh I can smoke, it won’t catch up to ME. Well, I did it too. I assumed that since I eat right, workout, don’t smoke or do drugs I’ll be fine.

Nope, I got one of the rarest cancers out there. Even my doctor who has done 1000s of surgeries has not seen this. Mary calls me the “rare sinus carcinoma guy”. She’s guessing I’ll be part of some paper sometime. Cool, I’ll at least be famous that way.

The point is this, live your life today. SOMETHING is going to happen that you don’t expect. Get over it. In business, I called these “Scuds”, which as you remember in the first gulf war the Iraqis would hurl these huge inaccurate missiles over at Saudi Arabia and you had no idea where they are going to land.

In my business life, the first big SCUD was the crash of 2002. It killed my business. Crap, well gotta get up again. The second big scud came 6 years later with the 2008 crisis.

You know what, we survived. You will survive.

Plan, be ready for it, have backup contingencies, but most importantly, don’t live in fear and live the life today that you dream of living.

Don’t be an Asshat

/1 Comment/in , /by

I am doing radiation for cancer. It sort of sucks. More for others than for me. Believe me, some of these guys are going through some crazy stuff. Throat cancer, tongue, prostate, you name it. These guys are going through it.

Personally, I feel like I’ve been grazed by a freight train. Lucky to be alive and I have all my major organs and body parts. Praise the Lord.

This guy shows up yesterday. Remember that this place treats over 200 people a day with life-saving radiation. They do an amazing job of staying on schedule.

This dude shows up early, and demands to be treated right then. He said he has tickets to see the Rangers tonight. And his tickets cost $150. I looked at him and asked, oh man – they are pretty good. How many treatments are you in for. “Two” he said. “Two”. Dude next to me is doing 40 and doesn’t have a prostate, another guy is having part o his face removed.

Dude, really? In his self-absorbed stupor, he forgot to take a careful look at what’s right in front of him. There was a chance to show some others that someone cares for them.

Instead, he chose to be an asshat.

Don’t be an asshat.

Proof that you should behave in life

/7 Comments/in , /by

This morning I arrived in radiation to my normal group or locker room members.

Mind you we’ve only been chatting a few days and while we know names we only know first names and some basics.

James has to drink 32 ounces of liquid before his treatment. Ann his wife waits patiently for him outside. Ray is an Air Force academy graduate and so on.

We’ve never gotten to last names. So imagine my surprise this morning when I walk in and one of the guys says “it’s Charlie Alsmiller”.

Hey I was sort of enjoying being anonymous here. Turns out this guy went to school with one of my wingmen that did our Colorado hiking trip and somehow they put two and two together that we all knew each other.

Now the Dallas area has 7+ MILLION people. What are the chances of that?

Bottom line. Behave in life. It’s truly a small small world.

Legacy by Design

/0 Comments/in , /by

In September, the first week of treatment I attended “XCentric” which is a super-cool event put on by “EO” or the Entrepreneur Network that I belong to.  The location is moves around and this year it happens to be in Dallas. Me and 500+ other “misfits” who start and run businesses get together, network and hear some amazing stories and speakers.

This year’s event is about “Legacy by Design”.   I’ve always been a fan of “Lifestyle Design” and other proactive ways of planning.  

This year one of the speakers told the story of his wife’s inoperable brain tumor, which is basically inaccessible due to the location, meaning they don’t know if it’s benign or not.   He told the story of how this changed his “lens” and his life in a pretty dramatic way.   

We also heard the story of Bradley Callow, who was to be our keynote speaker who was fatally shot tragically a few weeks earlier.  Needless to say, we all now are thinking twice about our “purpose” and our “legacy”.

Life is short.  It’s a gift.  Get over yourself and accept it.

Bingo.   I think I know now that this story needs to be shared – however it ends.

What I will say is I’ve made no secret of this journey.  I post regular updates on Facebook and the EO community has been amazing and supportive.   

Fiscal Anxiety and Medical Care

/0 Comments/in , /by

So this cancer journey isn’t cheap. As it stands, UTSW has roughly $60,000 in outstanding medical bills which I am sure are being “negotiated”.     Radiation, I understand costs roughly $3500-$4000 PER SESSION. I will be having thirty. That’s an estimated cost of $180,000-$200,,000 SO FAR.    

Needless to say, I have been feeling a bit anxious about the fiscal part of this journey. 

We don’t carry regular insurance, we use a “medical sharing” program called “Christian Medishare” which is pretty much off the grid when it comes to regular insurance.  In fact, they make a point of saying it’s NOT insurance. The way it works is members’ medical bills that meet the guidelines for “sharing” are shared across the community.  With almost 300,000 members, it’s a pretty powerful sharing pool.

That said, there’s no real contract which says they MUST share, and the rules are a bit confusing and things like pre-existing conditions do come into play.   So, needless to say, until last week, it was still undetermined whether or not I would be fully “shared”.

I had received a call from a “Case Worker”, who had asked a lot of questions which really made me nervous, but all in all, they were being really supportive.   She asked if I would be OK if they “negotiated” with my providers. Of course.

A few days later, I get the call from the “VP of Cost Management” or something like that.   My first reaction is this is not good. I could not have been more wrong.

This guy proceeds to tell me that not only have I been 100% covered/shared but asked my permission to “Pre-pay” all 30 treatments.   This I am assuming is a way they help control costs and a strong negotiation card to play. I’m speechless and thankful.

For all the people who criticize Medishare, I can’t say enough.  These people are amazing. I’m a member for life or as long as they’ll have me.

Here’s a link to sign up for Medi-share.   Full disclosure, if you sign up, I get $100, which I will promptly donate.  If you have a request, just let me know.  This is a very real and very effective alternative to traditional insurance.

All I can say is one word.

Gratitude.